GET THEE HENCE!
(Editor’s note. Mz K submitted this article saying, “Pepper with hilarious images”. Then she went away. Therefore images may not be related to the story. It’s her fault for just bursting.) I used...
View ArticleDon’t Break Your Boss’ Jaw, Fart On It
Blow fish have poisonous testicles. Tee hee! Has this been hanging around the world, being known to everybody but me? I am so amused. BLOW fish. Testicles. POISONOUS testicles. Can somebody say...
View ArticleA Word From The ULK Ministry Of Security & Excitement
Kyokka do you know what has happened?! A zit! A plump, half ripe mountain of a felony has set up base on my face. A pimple so huge, it looks like a teabag has attached itself to my cheek. This simply...
View ArticleTOP TEN: Miss Kyrte hits back at a dude, and finishes him off with a smiley
Hello angry bastard. I know you hate me right now, but because you loved me before last Friday, which is when you started hating my guts, I know we still have hope. I swear I did not mean to: 1....
View ArticleKONA DANCING! For the greater good.
The Pay it Forward Foundation is a CHARITY organization, which means that all its members are nice people who use deodorant, grammar and changwes. They’re trying (have have been since 2009) to make a...
View ArticleOpen letter to the sea
Dear waters (the deep sea in particular), hiya! We have been informed by the fat little ninjas that live in our modems that you have recently struck up some beef with certain important cables that have...
View ArticleAdvanced Guide To Being A Fun Drunk
Oh don’t look at me like that, with those round judgey eyes. You’re a drunk. I’m a drunk. We’re all drunks. My intoxicant of choice is life and occasionally, waragi. Yours may be cartoons and white...
View ArticleWine Nine: Pronounced Eric Wainaina. He Was At Jazzville on Friday. This Is A...
A Chinese lady glanced at my VIP card for 0.001 seconds and then pointed me towards the red carpet. I was tempted to give her a lecture about Uganda. What made her so sure that I hadn’t just scrawled...
View ArticleJane Bussman …. Your Ribs… Now FIGHT!!
Jane Bussmann is a journalist and comedian, a funny chick who is performing at Mish Mash tomorrow. She’s going to be telling some dumb stories and some scary stories in such a hilarious way that you’ll...
View ArticleSIM Card Registration: Let The Excuses Begin
It is the 28th day of February and there are stern faced kanyamas at all the telecoms, holding jambiyas over your number. If you performed the three minute ritual of registration at one point during...
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